Blog Tour: Girl 99 by Andy Jones - Extract

Hey everyone 

I am so excited to be able to part of a publication day tour and share an extract from Girl 99 by Andy Jones. I am lucky enough to have read The Two of us by Andy previously and can honestly say I loved it! I have also heard great things about Girl 99 and am looking forward to reading it myself. 

Whats the book about?

When Tom’s girlfriend walks out on him the day before Christmas, he feels humiliated but not necessarily heartbroken. Sadie wasn’t, after all, The One. If we’re being precise, she was number eighty-five.

And so, for reasons that are only mostly wrong, Tom embarks on a mission to bring his number of encounters up to a nice neat one hundred.

Over the course of his quest he sleeps with a colleague, a colleague of a friend, a friend of a friend, a friend of a friend’s wife, the estate agent selling his flat and several more besides.

Everything is going, if not well, then at least according to plan…and then Tom meets Verity. Whether she’s The One remains to be seen, but she’s certainly more than just another number.

Girl 99 is published by Lake Union and is out today as an eBook, paperback and audiobook:  http://amzn.to/2jSGPec

Before reading the extract lets just set the scene: Tom's Downstairs neighbour and good friend, Doug, is a widower close to 70. He has been dating Eileen, a lady in her late 60s who lost her husband a few years ago. Eileen has been ready to take hers and Doug's relationship to a more intimate level for a while now, but is becoming frustrated by the lack of action.

Girl 99 - An Extract - Viagra

By Andy Jones

Eileen reaches into her handbag and produces a box of Viagra. She puts them on the table between

us.

‘There’s three left,’ she says, tapping the box, once, twice, three times.

‘Listen, Eileen, no offence, but I . . . I don’t . . .’

‘Not for you, Thomas. For Douglas.’

‘Eileen, I’m not sure this is any of my . . . I don’t understand.’

‘I want you to give them to him, love.’

‘Does he need them?’

Eileen sips her tea. ‘I think so, sweetheart. We haven’t actually . . . Me and Doug have been together for six months. We’ve kissed and canoodled, of course, plenty of canoodling, but we haven’t actually . . . you know.’

‘I see.’

‘Bonked.’

‘Right.’

‘Now, six months is a long time to wait. A person gets frustrated, Thomas. So I suggested Lyme Regis. I assumed Doug was either shy or just being a gentleman, but I thought a weekend away might, well, open the window, so to speak.’

‘More tea?’

‘I’m fine, love. Too much and I get cystitis.’

‘Is it hot in here?’ I ask. ‘I’ll just open the w— Just let some air in.’

Eileen continues as I open the window and briefly contemplate jumping out of it and running away.

 ‘So you’re going to . . .’ I nod at the pills. ‘Give him the . . .’

Eileen laughs. ‘He won’t hear it from me, love.’ And she stares hard at me.

‘Me? No, no way.’

‘Well, there’s no way I can give him my dead husband’s leftover dicky pills, is there?’

Dicky pills?

‘So what do you want me to do?’

‘Tell him they’re yours.’

‘Mine?’

‘Well, he knows what you get up to, love. He’s heard all your comings and your goings. Drop it into conversation. Tell him you swear by the Viagras. Offer him a couple.’

There is nowhere to hide in my living room, no cupboard to climb into, no curtains to conceal me, no trapdoor; all I can do is hunch my shoulders around my ears, hide my face in my hands, and hope Eileen will get bored and let herself out.

If you want to read more why not check out extracts on other blogs today:

About Andy

Andy Jones lives in London with his wife and two little girls. During the day he works in an advertising agency; at weekends and horribly early in the mornings, he writes fiction.

You can find Andy on Twitter, Facebook & Instagram as andyjonesauthor